Potty Mouth

Ok, now I usually refrain from talking about really gross things. But I had a Bermuda triangle experience in lovely "Back in Time" Lewiston Id while out on a date night with Koiboy. And it had to do with bathrooms. I know!! Bathrooms who would have thought?!? But it was such a strange time, I could not help but wonder with all the dead birds falling from the sky, earthquakes and changing the Wendy's fries (which I HATE), there had to be something to it.

Experience one:

I was in the movie theater bathroom. It was Winter Ball, and all the young'uns were out in their very best gala and acting goofy and girly in the bathroom. Two of them were swishing their skirts around and yelling at each other on either side of me in the stalls. Suddenly, one yelled "Sarah, give me my shoes!" And to my amazement, a lovey pair of gold shoes, chunky heels with thin ankle straps came winging under the stall, past my feet and into the other. One after the other. Oh how I was temped to pluck the pretty little things out of their flight pattern, but in my amazement, I froze. Then they realized someone was in the middle stall, they squealed, slammed out the stalls and all I heard was the pitter patter of bare feet followed by a high pitched "Oh my God!!"

Experience two:

There are few twilight moments in my life, but in the Home Depot bathroom, I experienced one, or maybe it was really a groundhog day moment. I don't know. But seeing that all the stalls were full, I of course chose the handicapped stall. On a good hair day I'm 5 feet tall, so of course my feet don't hit the ground in those stalls. It was pretty slick, auto everything. However, with my TRex arms the paper dispenser was too far. Leaning slightly forward as not to fall off, the damn sensor sense the shift and flushed. Not just a flush, but one of those power sucking tsunami flushes that splashes quite high. So with a wet bottom, and huffing quite angrily, I reached again. It flushed again. You get the picture. I was trapped and unable to just jump up and resolve the problem without dripping on my clothes. Back and forth, back and forth and finally I was able to snag the paper, but not after getting a good wetting and making the neighboring stall wonder what the Hell was going on in there.

Experience three:

After washing my hands in the Ihop, I waved my hand under the greatly advertised "Heat waver" THE best hand dryer out there apparently. Let me tell you, it blew so hard it almost shoved my hands down. The skin on the back of my hands where making mini waves. I was highly tempted to stick my face under it and let it blow my mouth open like a dog with it's head out the car door, but I resisted. On the way out, Koiboy was laughing and said,

"did you get those hand dryers? They were crazy!"
"I know, they would dry your whole body off in seconds!"
"You could turn the nozzle and make a great whoo hoo dryer" (Yes he's crass like that)
"Totally, all I would need is a comb and some wax paper and I could have played Yankee Doodle by squeezing my thighs back and forth!"

Which of course ended that horrible conversation with a round of laughter. And that folks defined my date night in Lewiston with my husband.